Maybe It's just me

So today was a strange day. I awoke with a haze, I needed to do my 8 pager.. yes fuck I'm still doing that fucking 8 pager... but anyway time to snap. out . of . it... okay what was I saying.. wow this rusk tastes great.... .

O yes I was doing my newspaper (not literally you whore). Rusk. Rusks are sore to eat. Ouch. I feel like watching something... Hmm maybe . I heard a packet fall around the corner.. Okay I joke. the crumbs are staring at me... ahhhh what the horse.

Oh and then I left the design labs, went to my pol lecture with Kapa, sat next to Andy, wrote in Andy's book, tried to copy Andy's notes and falling asleep later. Rusk, change the artist from The smiths to Staind. Hmmm Staind, much better (yay face).

Then went to get me pol reader, chatted with Litha for awhile. Home. Lunch. Design Labs. Leshville.

Wow what am I still doing up

Let go of your heart and let go of your head

I woke up this morning with a strong sense of feeling absolutely nothing. My mind is numb and my heart has been overworking to contain and protect the love it was given when created. I have this eight page newspaper to layout and I also have a deal with some magic brown vegetables used as pizza topics. I know I should be in the Design Lab laying out this damned boring paper and get it over and done so I get fucked up like a character out of Skins but I would rather just sit here and get lost in the smooth curvatures of my mind and stare at the beige coloured walls with the utmost affection for Plascon for creating dirt paint colours.

"Let go of your heart, let go of your head and feel it now"
It's easier said then done Mr Gray, how about you come here into my res room and tell me just how to fuck my heart and just fucking feel it. How can I feel anything when my heart is tired and my head is dislodged out of the space and time continuum.

I need to sort this out, I need to get over this the same way I need to get over that person and the same way I need to open the curtains to let the sunshine in. I can see the brightness of the sun through the brown shitty colour, as the walls, curtains. I don't want to open it, it's there to make me believe that the day has begun and I should get the fuck to the Design labs and waste my life away. I need a change of heart. I need to feel again. I need to makes these walls less false and more realistic.

It's my Forth Day!!!

It started in September, when I was elected onto the SRC as Media councillor. I thought I could handle the stress and I thought that I would never start chain smoking in all my days. But then Christina's carton on the floor and her extra lighter and Lassy's voice just made the whole situation look pretty sweet and idealio in more ways than one.
It was the head rush, I'm not going to lie, it was good. It felt like I could breathe again, that I could actually just sit and not think, just be a part of the moment like a bungy (hippy in Rhodes lingo) and not think about all the work that was piling up in my webmail inbox.
This weekend that just passed made me start wondering about where this path is leading, Hogsback could have been the reason but I think it was the chunder on my floor on Monday morning that made me rethink my life choice.
I woke up at half 6 this morning with a mind set that I was going to go to gym, I got dressed, walked out the door , walked halfway there and remembered that I forgot my student card. I then walked back to res made myself some two-minute noodles and read FanFiction until I had the urge to finish my 4 page newspaper due on Monday.... Fuuuuucccckkk Casper is going to slaughter me like how the Hutu's did to the Tutsi's.